Fart on Demand

I know this autobiography is a story about myself. But there is nothing insightful that you don’t already know about me at present. Or as Shri. Nag says, ‘what he reads in the morning he forgets in the afternoon.!’ So I’m going to divert your attention to something different. Like how our politicians and PR agencies do! See, I’m also learning fast.

Let’s go all the way to the center of Europe, to Vienna in particular. The gem of Europe known for refined tastes in music, the arts, architecture etc. Their police, however, seem as tough as those in America or India or China or even the Bobbies of Boris Johnson. I get the feeling the police have had enough of public misbehavior too. Do you want to know what happened in this beautiful city involving the police?

Let me start at the beginning, on 5th June 2020, the Capital Police of Vienna spotted a man sleeping on a bench in the park. You’re right, benches are for sitting and gazing but not for sleeping. So they woke up this slob who when he got upright ‘let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent.’ This offended the police of this refined city and they fined him 500 Euros for ‘public indecency.’ Is this funny or what? I heard a lot of park goers laughing their guts out and others who read this news clip too. 

See, altering lines of control or even actual controls should attract punishment but what of lightening oneself of gas? Is this justifiable I ask? Is the slob to be blamed or the escaping wind? Again the law is a bit fuzzy. But it’s good to make those who can pay, pay. When the police can only hear the offending fart but not really see it, how can they fine it? 

Same way they can’t fine me despite the destruction that I’ve caused. So is life, not always fair.

Disclaimer- with no offense to anyone, anywhere.


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